Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
