I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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