well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
