Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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