So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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