she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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