I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
wow bdsm is so cute
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