alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it because I queefed?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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