I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
