My brain says no but my pants say off.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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