What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
