So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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