Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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