marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
