His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
