he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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