I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
