dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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