im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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