worst night to have a conscience
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize
