My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
