just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
