What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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