What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
