At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
