I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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