She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
