seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize