Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
