We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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