no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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