I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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