i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
