Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
