people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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