Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
