So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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