I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
