I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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