you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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