The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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