Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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