Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
