The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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