I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
