You're earring is so big in my mouth
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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