There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
