bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
