If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
