Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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