me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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