How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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