And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He better not be in your backpack
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
