Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
