considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize