College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dick very happy bro
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
